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Tailgate parties for 9-11?? Where are all these Patterson, New Jersey witnesses?? It really is a form of torture just listening to this cartoon character, Donald Trump speak. I keep thinking he will just say that this was an experiment to lure all the racists and bullies in this country out of the shadows so we know who they all are. Can this be real? He has offended along race, religion and gender lines. I don't think he has commented on some that really deserve it like young white male serial killers.

Oh... I am so ready for January... The final season of Downton... Galavant is back with Hugh Bonneville and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia returns.

It is good to know that Pipe Dreams still produces American made dildos.

Oh Mike Tyson mysteries, I missed you!!!

Jagger the jeweler???

On Feb. 7, Cold Play is playing the Super Bowl???

I love you Andy Richter but this Food Network show... Celebrity food fight? Is like an even worse version of Hollywood game night. I don't even know who half of these celebs are. Thank goodness it wasn't meant to last long.

A shopping channel for guns?

If you missed A very Murray Christmas from Netflix, you missed one of the funniest, creepiest moments ever. You have to see George Clooney leering from behind the Christmas trees.

American Atheists put up a holiday billboard. What a nice sentiment.

Golden Globes are coming on January 10 with some stiff competition. I am steamed about only 1 nom for Blunt talk but I will be routing for Jennifer Jason Leigh, Lily Tomlin, Lady Gaga, Queen Latifah, Bob Odenkirk, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Jamie Lee Curtis and Joanne Froggatt. I hope Transparent and American Horror Story do well.

I did not understand the coughing fit that seemed to be going on for the last republican debate. When the cameras pulled back, it seemed to be Ben Carson that was coughing. Later the pundits all wondered who was coughing. It seems a silly matter but there you are. The Rand Paul crowd sure was enthusiastic and Carly Fiorina had some crazy sound bites the media should have twigged to.

New Red Hot Chili Peppers coming in 2016. YES!

So LSD micro dosing is a thing? Word is that it helps with depression, migraines, chronic fatigue syndrome and helps one explore new ways of thinking. Well, I think we knew that last one.

Mother Teresa... A saint? That makes sense.

James Cromwell was arrested at a protest again, this time at a power plant. He is always looking out for the rest of us. Go James!!

Bernie Sanders team worked quickly to rid their staff of a low level staff member that accessed Hillary's campaign. They had made officials aware of the situation so they did everything right.

When I see the Barry Gibb talk show, I always think of Elephant Parts. The whole singing talking Bee Gee voice was on there first.

Billions with Paul Giamatti on Showtime looks great, also can't wait for Baskets on FX and Mascots on Netflix.

Hoda, Please put your hair back the way nature intended.

Hear great things about Trumbo and The Big Short and The Hateful 8.

Liz Taylor... Dallas Buyers Club... Why is Kathy Ireland, of all people, telling us this??

Henry G. Sanders on American Horror Story... What a wonderful surprise!!

The mural from the Route 66 hall of fame museum in Pontiac, Illnois Is the cover of the Nat Geo calendar. This 2007 mural from Diaz sign has also appeared in travel mags around the globe.

The top Google searches for 2016 were Lamar Odom, Charlie Hebdo, Agar.io, Jurassic World and the Paris attacks. Ummm... Should have waited a couple of weeks... cuz Star Wars??

Good bye to Scott Wieland and Ray Gandolf

Hello Lily Leigh!!!!!!!!!

Cracked Rib signing off


December 2015

Ricky Gervais will be back to host the Golden Globes.

Charles Manson has been on our radar for nearly 50 years. Recently his notoriety has surged. He is more popular than ever with a mention in American Horror Story, a "daughter" on Scream Queens", seasons on the opening credits of Criminal Minds and a whole show of the semi fictionalized era around him on Aquarius. To use the stupid, overused phrase, he's a rock star.

Speaking of Criminal Minds, Dr. Spencer Reid is MIA so he can see his Mother, on the show, the same week that Finn Whitrock is back as another character on American Horror Story. You have to take the good with the bad, I guess it evens out.

And speaking of Matthew Gray Gubler (Dr. Spencer Reid), I think it is time for him to relive his Celebrity Ghost Story experience on The Haunting ofᮤ where is Celebrity Ghost Story?? I haven't seen that around in a while.

And speaking of Scream Queens, the perfect take on the Psycho shower scene with Jamie Lee Curtis was absolutely fabulous郞., and䩡na Scarwid was perfect. She never disappoints.

I always watch some kind of horror in October to celebrate Halloween. This year, I was watching Night Gallery episodes. I was thrilled then that Brick on The Middle was dressed as Rod Serling from鯵 guessed itht Gallery. It was the best costume ever from one of the best episodes of the Middle ever. This show just gets better and does not get the credit it is due. The same goes for Archer.

Teachers are not paid enough to act as law enforcement. Do we not think kids won't figure out how to get to a locked gun in school if they really want it.

Patricia Heaton... Valerie Bertinelli⩳ha Yearwood... All have Food Network shows. No more photogenic chefs???

Anthony Bourdain : Parts unknown, in the south, with Bill Murray. Now that was a show!!! It is wonderful to see someone pay tribute to those who have passed down recipes and seeds for hundreds of years.

What is this facebook fascination with asking. 'Do you remember?' Do these people think we all have alzheimers? If it worth remembering, we will remember. Do they just sit in nostalgia? As a writer, I use memories everyday but we can spend too much energy looking back. We have to learn from history and move on. But asking all the time if we remember this game or that casserole dish with the world at our fingertips seems odd.

The past never lets up so I do not know how we could forget if we wanted to. There have to be new ideas out there. Everywhere I turn, I hear X files music, Star Wars everything including Cover Girl makeup. CBS is bringing back Star Trek. Yes, there is a lot of money to be made so get ready for the next blitz.

Ted Koppel is on it with his new book, Lights Out. He is trying to find out what this country can do in the event of a large scale cyber-attack on the electric grid.

Check out the Pontiac Daily Leader sports column online with Marc Edwards.

Days of our lives alert of the month岩c, now an alcoholic and Jen whose kids have been through Hell finally kissed. Ok, so everyone was kissing but it counts. I have been waiting forever for those two to finally find each other. C'mon, let's get on with it.

High hopes for Secrets and Lies with Michael Ealy.

Websters dictionary describes Peg Leg as an artificial leg: one fitted at the knee and we can now addᠬeg belonging to a Peg that seems to get hurt ever and over again.

There is some wonderful artwork to behold on the SCAD website. Pay special attention to Brit Vandegraft.

Steve Martin Short쩶e! Oh, what a team, what a wonderful world.

Oh Thank you, Jimmy Kimmel for bringing us David Cross and Bob Odenkirk together. And thanks Netflix for' With Bob and David'. They are back baby!!!

There is a rumor that Lawn Boy is building a factory in Peoria,Illinois.

John Cleese has a new book, So Anyway.

Bluelight specials are back! It seems that Kmarts marketing department said " we will wait until we close down most of our stores then we will bring back the things that worked."

Reject the Keystone pipeline?? U Go Obama!! Meanwhile a world away, the refugees are trying to get in. Um䯮't let the haters sway ya Mr. Pres魯thy Mcveigh was a Roman Catholic (or an agnostic, depending on what day u asked him) and we are loaded down with them. Letting in the huddled masses isn't going to put us at greater risk.

Robert Gray lost the Mississippi election. Boo!!

I was in a nursing home recently and I noticed that the whole place was enthralled when The Pioneer Woman came on the community television. The men were loving the cows and the outdoor chores and the women loved the recipes. I had never observed them all so interested.

Larry King recently made a speech at Bradley University about careers in broadcasting.

Frankenberry cereal does not seem as flavorful as we remember in this house. It is a little less berry, a little more Franken. It isn't a good more Franken like the Al Franken decade and Franken for Pres but you get what I am saying.

Santino Fontana and Tony Shalhoub in Act One. Moss Harts world is spinning as the stage is spinning. It is a fascinating play.

The earth is losing animals a thousand times faster than ever before. It is the 6th mass extinction, scientists say, with loss of habitat and other factors. We must help our animal species.

Expand the number of characters on twitter? They must be mad.

Another thanks this month to Conan for going to Armenia. Be careful with the assistant though. We all know what happened when Dave got a little too obsessed with that intern he trotted out all the time. But hooray for location shoots.

Stephen Colbert did a bit about opinionated drunk relatives like Aunt Rita. Does everybody have one?

Carly Simon has a new book out and everybody is talking about her revealing the second verse of 'You're so Vain'is about Beatty. I have to wonder how it feels to the person who paid to find out a few years ago. She sold that tidbit of info for charity. Now, did she tell them about everybody the song was about or just Beatty which most people suspected anyway? Pundits have to keep speculating about Kris Kristofferson, Jack Nicholson, Mick Jagger etc. Would Mick sing on a song about how he is so vain? I suppose that would be the height of vanity. Perhaps just the apricot scarf part is about him, that is not so bad.

Larry Wilmore... Please stick to what you do best Ἧfont>

I have always wondered why Katie Couric got the CBS news gig and Meredith Vierra took over on Today. I know it is all aver now but it should have been Meredith hosting the nightly news.

By the Sea... getting burned at the stake already. Wow... Carol looks good. It is that time of year... big movies everywhere.

Ok... Things develop every day on the Presidential race... Here we go�s published the celeb supporters of different candidates乳on, Rodman and Busey for Trump... There is some strange beauty in that.䨥 republicans were complaining about the CNBC debates. There were some, well, questionable questions but NBC is in the call letters. Let's not forget the ousting of Conan, the cancellation of Law and Order and Stark Raving Mad, losing Letterman and Roker and Lauer are still on every morning. I am just saying, you can't expect much. But why would the candidates get to decide their own questions. Every job applicant would like that but it does not reveal much truth. The democrats seem to be able to get through their debates without much problem. Don't we want a country that runs smooth? Jeb does make me laugh though with lines like," I can complete a sentence in English." His sound bites are priceless䨩s whole Trump phenom is perplexing. Just when you think he is such a blowhard that he pays attention to replica watches uk no one but himself, he tones it down a bit, he charms. It is like the raptors in Jurassic Park, "they remember"... he listens, he remembers, he learns. But even people close to him make comments about him getting out after he has made his point and shows he could win the nomination. Even people who are for him sometimes say that something will likely happen and Bush or Rubio will surge. I will never understand this border wall though. Wouldn't the money be better spent helping the poor in Mexico. Haven't these wall lovers seen the elaborate underground tunnels that are built? I mean, they can just go under so what is the point?㯠Ben Carson fabricated his acceptance to West Point and made his background seem more violent than it was??? Pathological disease? Lies, lies, lies..get out鮤al is out .

Not only is PBS bringing us the last season of Downton but Mercy Street starring Gary Coleﯲay!!

So寰le on the terror watch list can legally buy guns???

Fargo season 2蘒Mr. Culkinಠso good..U 2 Keith Gordon!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck leaves Fox and Friends.

Did I hear that right? Matt Lauer was interviewing Adele and complimented her recent concert, tempering it with "but that wasn't the best I ever heard you." HUH?

More people now know about eagles of death metal蘒Paris祠ache for you

Cracked Rib signing off

November 2015

Black Mass, Code Black, Call of Duty Black ops III頧uess Black is the new Black.

Hey⯬ling Stones㡮 we see some concerts for the hard core please? Some of us want u to dig deep for a whole show... Don't think we aren't appreciative for what u give us but do a few smaller venues for the purists with Factory Girl, Slave, heaven顠know⵴ the exhibition in April looks great!

Hmmmm Geo Star Talk... You are hard to find.

Boy, this Back to the Future/2015/Cubs thing really went crazy. You never know what will resonate.

Eddie Murphy gets this year's Mark Twain prize for comedy. With it he does a spot on Cosby.

Why R some getting upset or confused about the Muppets? If they had been paying attention, they were always a little more grown up that some apparently realize. Sure, some things they do are aimed at a younger crowd or mainstream but c'mon!! Jim Henson usually gave them a bit of breitling replica a WB kick. Some were on SNL for goodness sake. By the way, with the current late night landscape (besides Conan), Up Late with Miss Piggy is one of the best talk shows on. Don't get me wrong, I love CBS late night but it is hit and miss.

And thank you Conan for your suggestion that Andy Richter should be the next speaker of the house. He does have his own podium.

Playboy? No more nudes? The centerfold is iconic. I agree that the mag is too good for some of the little nude scenarios they do but the centerfold alone should stay. It does not interfere with what we really get it for䨥 articles.

Peoria mayor Jim Ardis made the Daily show with the fake twitter scandal that a resident created. The mayor cost the city a load of cash with the lawsuit.

Peoria named the 6th worst city for African Americans. In fact, Illinois is all over the top ten.

Upcoming movies to look for䨥 Danish Girl, Spotlight and the Good Dinosaur.

The new season of SNL is pretty strong. Kyle Mooney moves up and Pete Davidson is still on the back burner. Patience, I guess. The show usually shines during presidential elections. It allowed Hillary to pull out the big guns and their democratic debate with Larry David was priceless. Everything I was going to write about the debate was pretty much played out here.

In the debates, O'Malley seemed bland but solid, looking a bit like an ad exec. He has since played a Taylor Swift song on the View and comes across a bit arrogant. Jim Webb looked like he was in a spelling bee and he needs to quit his bitchin'. Lincoln Chafee was odd man out and appeared a bit lost. Anderson Cooper kept interrupting him. Bernie tripped over some words but was so cordial. His e mail comment was straight out of Primary Colors. Hillary was ridiculous in telling Wall Street to behave and a little too rolex replica rehearsed but she really had some fire. And she needed it for the Benghazi hearings. The hearings did prove that the republicans really can sweat. Hillary had the choice of the fiasco being televised and she was brilliant to let the public in. The panel used the word e mail 76 times and the word Benghazi 17 times. What was this all about??

Biden never really in, now out祢b out㨡fee out.

It's about fucking time we hear from Michael Moore. He is back with Where to Invade Next. He is showing us how to take ideas that work from other countries.

Why does Fallon want to turn the Tonight show into a reality or competition show? It's always "Hello Celeb, Let's play a game. Let's show how real you are." Ok the songs he does with famous songsters are good but a little more talk please. And Fallon... Please look where u r going... U have fallen again.

Should we thank Adam Sandler for the all-day breakfast at McDonalds??

Wow! Something good from the Today show... The Rocky Horror Picture Show reunion. You go Tim Curry! Was so happy about your Actors lifetime achievement award at the 2015 Tonys. U have given me so much pleasure in my lifetime.

An Afghanistan hospital bombed by U.S. ... heads need to roll㯭e hearings about this please!!

You haven't lived until you've had a great bathroom party.

Oh my... American Horror Story has not disappointed. Denis O'Hara looks great and how fitting to use Hotel California to let us know what we are in store for.

Kate Hudsonk Jonas? 13 year age difference? I think she could do better but go girl.

This country is headed for a pivotal year. The Supreme Court has its hands full in 2016. Affirmative action, abortion and voting rights are on the table just to get started. There will be big decisions by June then we'll have the political conventions then the elections. Wow!!! Pay attention America!! Let's make informed decisions for the kind of country we want. We can have it!

Hey... Don't ya miss the days when the NFL showed just the scores at the bottom of the screen? When I am watching a game and they keep scrolling the scores by, why is all the other stats and garbage with it? I want to pay attention to the game I am watching with a few updates. If I wanted to know more info, I'd turn to a sports channel or look it up. Keep it simple!

Hey Saudi Arabia௮y up some of your own troops in the fight. You have the third largest defense budget in the world.

Thank you John Oliver for the Sami and EJ reunion.

And speaking of Days of our Lives멬l Will??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Days missed a great opportunity to pull a gay couple back together thru hard times and show how solid they could be. And I am so glad that Thaao Penghlis is back but Andre must hold some kind of record for living thru death. I mean even in soap opera terms, came back from quicksand, a gunshot and he disconnected his own life support etc. Now we learn he is not Stefano's nephew but his son. Yikes!

Catch Bob Woodward's newest book, Last of the Presidents men. It centers on the papers saved from the Nixon White House era saved by Alex Butterfield. Sometimes things don't get shredded. Through the years we have learned who Deep Throat was (Mark Felt) and new details proving the story never ends, it just takes patience.

The ID channel is bringing Barbara Walters back with American Scandal. She is like Larry King, just keeps going. Also TLC will have Late Night Joy with Joy Behar.

Oh how I have missed Ellen Cleghorne. But she lost out on worst cooks in America: Celebrity edition.

Truth pairs Robert Redford with Cate Blanchett, all about the 60 minutes/George Bush scandal. CBS won't air the ads.

Look for Vinyl on HBO in 2016, produced by Mick Jagger and starring Bobby Cannavale, Ray Romano, Olivia Wilde, James Jagger and directed by Martin Scorsese.

Larry Wilmore's 'black Droopy', an impression of Ben Carson is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Also, Ben Carson says as a teen he threw rocks and attacked people with bricks, baseball bats, hammers and knives but he changed. At least he is a gifted surgeon and has given out a lot of scholarships. But Presidential??

Chris Hanson is trying to get 'To Catch a Predator' back on the air.

We knew there would be a lot of attention on the new star Wars but this much controversy?? The tickets suddenly went on sale and people are upset about the diversity??? And they use a whole day to push merch???

C'mon Ben and Jerry's let's come up with that Bernie ice cream.

If there are two sides to Twix, shouldn't they be different flavors in the same package so people can really choose a side?

How wonderful that Keith Richards, Lisa Fischer, Bernard Fowler and others honored Merry Clayton and Sonny Rollins at the Jazz foundation of America Gala.

Even though it is probably the only episode of the Soup that my Mom wanted to watch, please E!, don't let Joel McHale and the crew do a show from a race track again. It was the worst Soup ever. I think they worried too much about partyin' and not enough about the clips... and it was an hour long! Clips off themselves could have been on the Soup!

John Kasich had seemed to be making so much sense until he stated that he did not watch the Benghazi hearings but that the committee was fair and good.um﫮

Thank you Halloween for being you.

RIP Maureen O'Haraࡵl Prudhommeꥲry Parr�ty Ingels

You gotta catch Meat Loaf on The Haunting ofﮠLMN on a new night, Thursday. We find him this time yelling at a ghost.

Let's throw some support behind the Ellis Marsailes center for music. It is a performance, education and recording venue in New Orleans 9th ward.

Cracked Rib signing off

Octorber 2015

George Stephanopoulos is fine but I'm getting used to Martha Raddatz. I say ABC's This Week should make it permanent.

Pbs's Arthur and George�tin Clunes and company are fab. Speaking of Clunes Doc Martins are on the way. And鮠Port Isaac, which stands in for the folksy Port Wenn has a real restaurant called The Mote. If you knew a Mote called Tom, it would make perfect sense.Rick Perry out㣯tt Walker out

Trump isn't just vague, he seems to out and out lie about people in his own party. I guess most of them do it though. All the republicans are talking smack about Planned Parenthood and they know it is all lies. It was great to see Mexico using Trump and his mouth against him in the Mexican American soccer match.

Busey䲵mp... Schwarzeneggerᬬ in the spotlight again㩧n of the Apocalypse???

Darin Lahood was voted into the Illinois 18th district. Bye... Aaron Shock

Heyꯨn Dickerson and Chuck Todd詬lary Clinton hadn't been on the Sunday morning shows for 4 years. Can't you ask some real questions?? How many ways can she answer these e mail questions?? Do they hate her? Are they anti woman? Don't they think she can answer other questions about policy and the economy? Now they have newly discovered Petreus e mails. It never ends. The system was in place when she became Sec. of State. The last 4 Sec. of State have been checked but she is the only one we talk about. Besides, the court says she did not break the law when she deleted private e mails. So女tions answered䨥 only people who care about this are the media and the haters.

Good bye John Boehnerᠴearful Goodbye and a new house speaker!!

Who knew?? In Kansas, You are allowed to leave a child alone at 6 years old.

Christianity criminalized!!?? Hey Kim Davis祴 a new job. .Why do you get special rules to work by?? It seems everyone could play the religion card and never lose their job. Huckabee drags her on stage and says he will go to jail for her䨡t sounds pretty good. And now she is a republican.

Don't we have enough trouble taking care of our veterans?? Don't we see enough trauma and missing limbs? We can't jump into war. People who don't use it as a last resort forget the consequences of war. Good words from Bernie Sanders.

Hooray for Brooklyn being back with Bill Hader and Mary Lynn Rajskub.

A beautiful must have book硲hol unfiltered䨥 first Polaroid selfies, 1957 to 1985.

Does anyone watch a lot of HGTV?? How many times do they say 'Open concept?'

The Perfect Guyᠦilm with an evil Michael Ealy?? Oh yea!!

The Great British Baking Show鴧s British! It's Baking! It does not get much better than that�days PBS!

It was good to see David Gregory making the rounds. He is out and about with a new book请's your Faith? He didn't say a lot about departure from Meet the Press. He claims he was an arrogant hot head but I enjoyed him much more than Chuck Todd. After Russert, it is like they only hire dudes with 2 first names. Gregory says he does not miss NBC稯 would?? NBC, apparently pulled him fast with worry of an Ann Curry moment.

A little about American Horror Story is starting to trickle out. Again we will have some favorites back㡲ah Paulson. .Kathy Bates. .Finn Whitrock (who was robbed at the Emmys!) Angela bassett祠will get to see for ourselves on Oct. 7 but it seems we will be dealing with an ancient blood virus. It sounds like H. H. Holmes meets Psycho meets The Hunger. Why do I want to see Carol Burnett on this show??

I want to see a new biopic䨥 life of (Charles Nelson) Reilly.

TNT's Public Morals is sort of like Aquarius. I watched a few but didn't get excited about it. I am still on the fence but it does have Dennehy.

Hey Food Network쥴's put Big Daddy front and centerᮤ this worst celeb cooks is pretty dull but thanks for Ellen Cleghorn.

Gaffigan and the Pope㯵nds like a new sitcom⵴ Gaffigans TV Land show is getting better as it goes along. It is wonderful to see Mac Culkin on there, he is hilarious! We really need to see him in more stuff. He so outshines Kutcher.

IFC's Documentary Now from Fred Armisen, Seth Meyers and Bill Hader is solid gold頣ould not stop laughing.

Total mind blowᮠMartinez is now Eduardo on Days and Thaao is back!!

The Cubs and Mets in the playoffs珗!!
I am so happy Fozzie Bear is back where he belongs.
Allison Brie and Dave Franco together﷠fuckin' cute is that??

An unprecedented discoveryᠮew species, Homo Naledi was found in Johannesburg 2 years ago. It is a bridge between the more primitive bi pedal primates and humans. We are now getting all the info.. Thank you NPR, PBS and BBC.

RIP Martin Milner, Yogi Bera, Jeanette Hammer, Harold King and Gary Richrath. Richraths family was very helpful to myself and my mates in the past so my heart goes out to you all.

Cracked Rib signing off

September 2015

It looks like Pixie Whiplash, roller derby queen and Adam Brook, sculptor are going to have a baby girl this holiday season. Congrads!!!!

Bernie Sanders is sure chugging along졲ge crowd numbers, growing in the polls and even bulldozed on thru an interview with Chuck Todd that seemed to keep Todd from playing a confrontational clip. That is the way to do it.

Peoria will be the site of the Illinois republican convention.

Who Do You Think You Are has had a slightly sedate season even though there were a few highlights with J. K. Rowling, Alfre Woodard and Bryan Cranston. The family trees this season were filled with Fathers who abandoned those families.

CNN's the Evocateur about Morton Downey Jr. was a learning experience and a walk thru the past. All the hate spewing is just as prevalent right now. There was a whole Downey Kennedy connection. Downey Jr. was a pathological liar but there was always a guitar around.

When terrible things come to light like the killing of Cecil the lion by dentist Dr. Palmer or the Charleston murders things begin to change. Goodbye Confederate flag and now we can call out other humans who love game hunting like the CEO of Jimmy Johns, John Liautaud. This is exactly what the haters would not have wanted.

Statistics show that the average age of a baseball fan is around 50. Time for young talented players (hello Dakota Heller) to step literally up to the plate and bring some real passion and youth to the sport. There is an opening for greatness. Give it all u got.

Studies show that people check their cell phones approximately 150 times a day. Is production in this country down because of it? More people than not now say they would quit a job if they weren't allowed access to their cell.

More local TV stations are putting out community political shows. This is so important because the national shows have little time to dedicate to local issues. It is hard to hear from candidates and issues closer to home. So...Hooray!!

Kidzapalooza ...What a great idea and what talent from 11 year old bass player Tye Trujillo, son of Robert from Metallica.

Joe Biden?? Elizabeth Warren?? A nail in the coffin for Hillary??

Kelly Osborne is now doing a clothing line.

Isn't it odd how Tom Cruise often has these young, usually unknown actresses in his big action movies? Do his movies make any moneyॲhaps international? I know nobody who has seen a Cruise movie since Magnolia or Tropic Thunder and certainly, it wasn't because he was in them.

Elle KIng...ooh diggin' her tunes

Goodbye to Jon Stewart. It seemed natural that Springsteen would end it. In an odd interview on CBS Sunday Morning, Stewart laughed at their logo which seemed inappropriate. I thank The Daily Show for these great years but it was time. Now, word is the network is nervous about quickly announcing Trevor Noah. At least give him a chance.

Nancy Wolfe who played Susan Atkins on the original '76 Helter Skelter movie recently played a victim on ID's 'Over My Dead Body'.

Ok... So this Home and Family Show that I find pretty ridiculous, did a Walton show so I suppose this is some redemption. I watched it that day but it did not make me want to watch it again. It was great to see the Walton cast that showed Richard Thomas, always so beautiful yet never so much so as on The Americans. All the ladies still beautiful, those Mothers and daughters. But the hosts, this Mark and Christine, dress for the period and looked and acted a bit祬l쯯ney. They seemed to just keep messing up the silly segments. I mean, talk to the actors who actually played the Waltons. But when they did they asked some dumb questions too. I mean How about things like 'Did Richard Thomas watch the shows with the later John Boy, Robert Wrightman. How did that feel?? I always felt it made some sense because some people really change after the war but the change does not always last. Couldn't we get deeper about the actors who played other characters like Yancy or Amy or Drew?? And what about that awkward special where the principals met with their real counterparts. I always wondered how they felt about that. But the big payoffs of this Home and Family show was hearing about Ellen Corby and Will Geer and letting Judy Norton sing (new cd⥦lections)㨥's good.

Hey䡹s of Our Lives is now on POP. If u miss the original on NBC in the afternoon then catch it in the evening. Good bye Melissa Archer who is leaving Days... Let's celebrate those fifty years of this silly wonderful show.

JFK Jr's GEORGE predicted all of this perfect blend of celebrity, entertainment and politics. This is our fucking lives .Let's talk some real issues for this Presidential election and some real solutions. On the republican side..Kasich and Rubio, make a bit of senseᮤ Christie鴧s like people want to like him, he sound good and then we find out he is full of shit. Like, he wasn't US Attorney for New Jersey on Sept. 10, 2011. And稡t's wrong with owning up to a hug with the President? Instead he deflects, the public always says both sides should work together so when they look like they are they should own it...Be a man!!

And please䨥 Press㡮 we move a bit from Trump?? If you follow other stories perhaps his numbers will go down and I think a lot of journalists just want to see how far they can take this train wreck and the free helicopter rides. No more empty platitudes!! A great quote came from CNN's Doug Heye "Watching Trump is like wrestling a cloud". It is like Reagan all over again쯴s of big pronouncements. Face the Nation even calling this the Summer of Trump. I wonder how long Trump masturbated when he saw that Time cover?? People get so excited about outsiders in the Presidential elections but they usually fizzle like Anderson or Perot. It is time...Us deviants are sick of it.

Lynne Marta...She was everywhere back in the day...What a chick working with The Monkees, Eastwood and David Soul. Anyone singing on Black Bean Soup is alright with me.

Janet Jackson back??????????

A great new Ratherismꥢ Bush seems like a man who is bored or whose shoes hurt him. Oh Dan Rather, we need more of u.

Nicole Wallace was let go from the View and did not even know it. Damn that sucksﮥ of the last reasons I checked in on that show and suddenly gone.

Nan Britton was right. DNA tests have recently proven that Elizabeth Ann, her daughter was the love child of President Warren G. Harding. Back when Britton wrote of her affair, many did not believe her. Time finds the truth.

When cable runs big release movies, they not only trim and bleep but they seem to speed up scenes with music to almost a chipmunk level sometimes. More corporate greed.

Nearly every day, I hear from somebody that companies always discontinue products they love or things are regional or seasonal. So with that in mind can we bring back Old Elpaso refried beans with sausage or cheese, Steak n Shake lemon and lime freezes, tuna pot pies, chili slim Jims. Sargento Parmentino and Totinos mexican pizza. I think corporate can still get a decent bottom line if they leave a few items that under sell or leave some things out year round.

Navajo Nation alert: Something we should all be aware of᭥rican Indians could not vote until the 40's㯠they were not at the table when things like water rights were allocated. Many Native Americans are living in poverty with no running water like a third world country. Things are changing slowly but with only private donations funding the cause, it could take years. Federal, state and county all say it is not their responsibility. C'mon Matt Damon, Water guy extraordinaire... take this on. Make my Daddy proud.

Any of you see JB Smoove and his latest appearance on Conan?? Give that guy a talk show and let him go thru the guest's garbage.

Darrell Hammond? Norm Macdonald? How many SNLers are gonna play the Colonel??

Hooray⥡l Husbands of Hollywood is back!! Thanks BET.

Larry Wilmore just gets better and better.

Larry Pine was on Gaffigan...YES!!!

Cracked Rib signing off

August 2015

Lester Holt inⲩan Williams out祬l, I don't think he has that knack for comedy like Brian but by all accounts, Lester is very nice...I guess that will do for the news.

Aisha Tyler joins Criminal Minds. I think it sounds like a perfect fit. She is busy with The Talk and so great on Archer馠she can fit it in稹 not??

Why is that Home and Family show still on the air?? I do not get it.

No program has said anything better about South Carolina or the Bill Cosby situation than The Nightly show with Larry Wilmore. But as far as doing away with Gone With the Wind, Let's not go too far the other way. Hattie Mcdaniel did win a well-deserved Oscar for her work.

Stefano Dimera lives at 430 Lakeview Dr. in Salem. Days of our Lives seems to want to make that clear. The Salem PD mentioned their routine lifetime surveillance of all things Dimera. Funny!!

Thank you comedy Gods. Norm Macdonald on Last Comic Standing. Hell yea! The circle is complete. Howard Stern and Norm back at NBC. Probably sad from their standpoint, going a little mainstream. But Ha Ha to NBC.

Anthony Michael Hall did not seem too nice on The Haunting ofﮠLMN. Why is it that the players of young nerds turn out to be dicks.

Oh Politiciansᠲecent quoteᠬaw that violates the laws of God is no law at all." What?? The God of only some of the people has no place in the life of others. In this country there is a separation of church and state. and䥤 Cruz was saying this was "some of the darkest 24 hours in our history." This because gay marriage was made legal and most of us are allowed health care. He is whining while we are celebrating. Is this a great country or what?? And what did Huckabee say?? "Judicial Tyranny??" I don't remember the haters having a problem with the Supreme Court when they put George W. In office. Gore did not like it but he accepted it and moved on.

And then there are political staffers who are getting busy check out the phrase Schumer babies.

Can we please start voting by mail... it's time!!

Check out Animation Domination Hi Def篯d stuff!!!

Colbert is slowly making himself known again. He is talking some Pluto and appearing on Comedians in Cars getting coffee. Can't wait for the Sept. 8 shoe on CBS.

And Jerry had a good set on Comedians this season頷ould have never guessed but the Jim Carrey episode was great.

Ben and Jen the split part 2ଥase Affleck stay away from Jennifers.

Artist Amar Bakshi created Gold Boxes. Random people sign up online then go to the nearby gold box and come face to face with someone else from another part of the world for 20 minutes. What a beautiful portal.

Do all the people that watch Major Crimes also watch Rizzoli and Isles??

Check out The Chase on Game Shoe Network, an Americanized version of a British game show.

So the B in DB Cooper was added mistakenly by a newspaper and it stuck to this day.

Look up the speech Tyne Daly made at her curtain call after the gay marriage decision. It is a beautiful moment about love and acceptance.

Leave it to Bernie Sanders to use Craig's list to order his campaign office furniture.

Thank you Tom Hanks and CNN for the Seventies.

Does anyone love himself more than Trump? The reality show continues...

What's wrong with a life goal of poet or philanthropist??

Tried to watch Gaffigan's new show..It uses his comedy and his family situation like so many before him. Yes, it is unique but just nice⵴ after that, Impastor premiered with David Rasche and Sara Rue, that's a show... And so far Monster in my Family has been good. It is about time somebody did that show.

So, I have always had respect for Whoopi Goldberg but her responses have been strange lately. She did not know there was a statute of limitations on rape. Really?? and she didn't know that her friend Judd Apatow was associated with Freaks and Geeks. Really?? What is goin' on with the girl??

Oh what a 4th of July this year!! The largest fireworks display in the country and the Rolling Stones. There was a little down sideseating available and that was not really made clear when the tickets were ordered. But it did make it easy to wiggle our way to the front. They had many mishaps on the printing of the tickets and they just made it. Security was a little tough too. They did not allow signs and nearly threw one of us for having one. But that was the only real downside. The set list was the same old stuff but 'Out of Control" and "Midnight Rambler" were top notch. In the 8 times I have seen the Stones, this was far and away the best 'Midnight Rambler" I ever heard, such a long harmonica solo. Thank you boys for all the love.

Ok Emmy time...the nominations are out. Hooray for Better Call Saul and Downton. Both so good쯵ie, Veep and Transparent all fab...Was thrilled to see noms for Bob Odenkirk, Viola Davis, Louis C.K., Will Forte, Jim Carter, Jonathon Banks, Jeffrey Tambor, Niecy Nash, Andre Braugher, Tony Hale, Tim Hutton, Ricky Gervais, Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett. They are all so deserving. The toughest category has to be comedy actress..Julia Louis Dreyfuss, Lily Tomlin, Lisa Kudrow, Amy Schumerᬬ so perfect. And Last week tonight vs. Lettermanﯯohhh!! Was surprised to see the deserving Key and Peele and Drunk History and Portlandia. My fave nom has to be Finn Whitrockody beats him this year稡t a fabulous role. Did they always have all the different categories for reality shows?? Competition㴲uctured and unstructured???? I don't see enough love for The Americans䯣 Martin, Major Crimes or Boardwalk Empire.

Nothing looks good on Dominoes commercials,

I miss Tom Snyder...

RIP Bugliosi

Cracked Rib signing off

July 2015

Turn to PBS and watch Independent Lens. I have not been let down yet. This show is full of masterful storytelling and I am riveted. The story of Media, Pa. in the early 70's where a group of citizens entered the FBI offices and took files was fascinating. The files revealed illegal activity by the FBI. Pages were sent to publishers and politicians, running front page in the Washington Post. Another week brought us the story of Richard Adams and Tony Sullivan who, in 1975 were one of the first same sex couples to be issued a marriage license in Denver. This limited partnership episode chronicles their life and the fight they began that year. If a human and watch this and still not believe we all deserve the same rights, well, they must not have a heart. This love story is mesmerizing.

Summer Camp in Chillicothe, il was a hit again this year. The Steve Miller band just seemed to be going through the motions but The Main Squeeze... WOW!!!!!!... Why haven't I seen these guys before??? They should be played be headlining every fest in the country. This delicious funk won me over.

Thank you Rolling Stone for talking about 'the nicening of late night. It seems that it will never be the same with Dave gone. C'mon Conan... goose this country a bit쯣ation! location!

Hastert??? Illinois??? It just never ends

Bernie Sanders is firing things up on the campaign trail. Could he be a bigger threat than anyone thought? The pundits are saying that the Dems are far more left now than the republicans are right. I am not so sure about that. Word is that with Bernie gaining ground, when Hillary gets the nom, she will be unelectable. So isn't there something with that whole thought process? If Hillary is forced to move farther left, wouldn't that help? It seems the further left Democrats would like a slightly swayed Hillary.

Trump? Please. And Jeb! The next Bush to be president will be his son George.

CBS this morning did a great piece on city design showcasing Savannah and Charleston. They are absolutely beautiful cities. I am so glad I had a chance to spend time there in the past. Peace to South Carolina.

Paget Brewster on Community? Is there a show she has not been on? I will watch her on anything.

Lynn Chevrolet, a small town car dealership is promoting a drive down Route 66 for a test drive. Now that is great marketing!

And while we are on the subject of ads, what is with all the food ads with slo-mo close ups of people eating their product. I find it very disconcerting, the people seem hypnotized.

First run movies on Netflix?? Starting with Brad Pitt?? Ok

There was a hint on the season ending episode of Brooklyn 99 that Andre Braugher might be out. Someone mentioned that it may be worth it if it meant less Kyra Sedgewick.Her character interacts the most with his.  But thank goodness all around that he WILL be back. Whew!!

Beesweet lemonade...Beautiful 10 year old Mikaila is the mastermind behind this lemonade. Her story can be found online where one can also order this refreshment if it is not at a retailer near you. Let's support the disappearing bees.

To see the body of Steve Martins work as presented for his AFI film award is just mind blowing. He carries his age and dignity so well too.

People seem surprised that a man in Texas was fired when he failed a drug test. The court upheld that even though he did not smoke marijuana at work he could still be terminated. Well, this goes on everywhere. Right or wrong, many major companies drug test. Can we abolish this one and for all? This isn't always about stoners, people suffer and need medicinal weed.

Wow鴠is costing about a million a day to find these missing fugitives. Can we go lighter on some of these softer crimes and put some money into better prisons for the hardened criminals??

Looking over all the cancellations of 2015, I don't think I had any interest in seeing any of them except for The Mindy Project. I will miss that.

Get better Tommy Chong!

RIP BB King and Beau Biden

Cracked Rib signing off

June 2015

Hey... Loving J. Lauryn and the song: "Criminal Love"

We should be telling our employers to look up info on Dan price and his company GRAVITY. His minimum wage is $70 thou a year. He believes in literally passing the buck and not keeping it all for himself.

Kudos to Elizabeth Holmes, the youngest self-made woman billionaire. She created a needle free way to draw blood and test it. Hooray for pin prick testing!!

Well I have heard three separate reports on atheism this month. One report was about Neil Carter and his book 'Godless in Dixie'. There is also new statistics, 7% of Americans don't believe. 9 in 10 African Americans believe. Thank u for that CBS. There is more talk of famous names in the mix as well. I can remember as a child that Madeline Murray O'Hare was the only Atheist name I saw on television. There are some celebs who are right up front about it like Ricky Gervais and Penn Jillette. Some journalists speculate about others like Daniel Radcliffe, Bob Odenkirk and Fred Armisen. Many names come up in conversation or belong to people who don't bring it up but don't deny either such as Micky Dolenz, Ron Reagan Jr, Barry Manilow and Julianne Moore. One does not have to hide in public as in the past. We get on board with equality for everything else so why not atheism? Love one another.

A pat on the back for Tim Mcgraw for being loyal to friends and not being afraid of what some fans or cohorts might say. He made Sandy Hook a promise to play July 17 no matter what it may mean to his bottom line.

Fun for all at Summer Camp music festival in Chillicothe, IL. at the end of May with Moe, Steve Miller Band, Widespread Panic and many, many more.

Looking forward to the new Cd's from Alabama Shakes and Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard.

Why doesn't the NFL go back to regulating the footballs, C'mon!!

Burt Reynolds at Comic con?

Good news for the world of frogs鮴roducing a new species... The Glass Frog!! Ta da.

Operation㨯ose Joy!!

Hey Rolling Stone...Thanks for Letterman and Ringo⥡lly but let's get the age range of covers down a bit and did we really need another Madonna cover? If u are gonna put some performers with some age, why not use others from the inside articles like Joan Jett and George Clinton??

Ok䨥 Daytime Emmys... now it was great to CBS Sunday Morning and Craig Ferguson win. Of course Day of our Lives had to share but it is better than nothing. And so sad we lost Geoff Edwards last March. The Daytime Emmys get looked down on as lesser than as it is, so why make them worse with bad lighting and some of those absolutely goofy bits??

And while I am on Days of our livesଥase put John and Tori together.

Fabulous that Redford took home the Chaplin award this year!!

So Fox is going to reboot Rocky Horror?? A small screen version seems a little scary but glad the original will be back in theaters for the 40th Anniversary.

Hooray for Prince and his song for Baltimore. Let's hope they really hold the cops accountable, and the looters et al. Fucking over innocent people does not help the situation.

Wow�tin Sheen, Sam Waterston, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Ernie Hudson on Grace and Frankie from Netflix... I am there!!

Times have changed when the women front runners for President are the wealthiest candidates in the race.

What is up with the George Stephanopoulos controversy? He is a top notch personality and quality journalist but I always wondered why ABC gave him so much political power. Of course there are going to be people who have a problem with him. I am not surprised he gave money to the Clinton's for charity. Now let us hope he does not go overboard the other way with such a big year coming up.

Is it me or does the Today show remind you of that stupid job where corporate wants u to play silly games or exercises in staff meetings. Give me CBS this morning any day.

Who cares about a Guns and Roses reunion? Why does everybody have to ask Slash this question? We should concentrate on his new effort for the plight of the elephants. Go Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators. I always thought Axl Rose was the Brian Wilson of his generation without all the genius.

Why would Heinz improve their mustard? It is the best on the market anyway. The commercials are stating people have paired the wrong mustard with their Catsup, well not me... always Heinz... French's is pushing Catsup now and so it goes in the condiment wars.

Thanks u for running Bernie Sanders, if for no other reason, it will lift things left.

Wells Fargo pressured their branches to get new accounts so they created fictional ones. Get off our backs corporate!!!

We need a new Chris Guest movie.

*When Michael Moore or Sasha Baron Cohen have been quiet for too long, I always get antsy. DNA testing on VH1 with almost instant results? Swab stories has unique stories and not just sex with many partners. Maury may be a thing of the past.

And some final thoughts on the most fab talk show host ever... David Letterman頨ave not seen the celebration of the man under the stairs, the monkey cam or the clown who used to visit the other show but as I write this there are still a few more shows to go so who knows. There is so much to go through that they can't hit everything, I know, I know And I realize the girls sure like to take their clothes off for Dave⵴ these last few weeks have held some great moments as well. Paul Rudd with his Late Night sponge was great. Norm and his emotional stand up was unforgettable. Dave and Paul have done some good interviews too. I love Paul even more for mentioning how much the Warren Zevon show meant to him. That is probably the show that meant the most to me and I will never forget it. Others have chimed in their love for Dave as well. Jim Gaffigan called Dave 'today's Mark Twain' and I think he got it right. So thanks Dave for changing my life.

Cracked Rib signing off

May 2015

Wow... Over 100 years after Lizzie Borden, Fall River, Mass. is in the national headlines again for another sensational murder trial. I'm not sure Hernandez will be remembered for as long.

Melissa Gilbert was on that slow moving Hallmark Home and Family show. She was promoting her Little House Cookbook but the people tasting her Shepard's pie did not look too thrilled with it. And I'm sure Dinty Moore was not too happy when she called their product dog food.

And while we are on the subject of cooking on TV, why do these celebrity cooks hardly ever pull their hair back? I mean, I don't think I would want to eat that food... And why is this sandwich king dude on every other fuckin' show... There have been plenty of talented people on these food contests, give them a chance

Hey䡴eline稹 do u need to waste 2 hours on these 'real life mysteries' whose stories could be told in an hour?

I happened upon some 70's TV movies the other day稹 do half of them use the same background music??

James Cordin is doing well on CBS. He was so thinking of Conan on that first show. He mentioned Andy Richter, he had Leno making sport of his earlier unpleasantness (which is about all we see him do anymore) and oh how wonderful it was to see Reggie watts running the band. And while we are on Conan... never forget⩮g Bong, swing your ding dong!!

Adam West and Burt Ward will return in 2016 with a full length animated Batman feature... Hooray!!

Did ya'll see Van Halen on Kimmel? Who would have thought Eddie would seemingly have pulled himself from the brink and look and sound good again and David Lee Roth seem so puny??

Will somebody please write a definitive script about the Villisca ax murders??

If you Vogue are you attitude dancing??

Will Bill Withers sing at the Rock and Roll hall of Fame??I hope soᮤ Questloveଥase keep working on him to make some new music. We have been waiting a long time.

I am not usually into romantic movies, Harold and Maude and The Way We Were aside, but The Longest Ride looks like a maybe.

Hillary is in... Now please please pick Al Franken for VP

What a mess this Aaron Shock biz is. More political mess in Illinois... Word is the party liked him and he was a rising star but once they passed on helping him to get to the top, he began this questionable behavior. And now so much money will be spent for just one special election. ...and why did he drop out so quickly? Did he see the writing on the wall? Was he afraid he would be outed? It just all seems like such a waste!!

Jagger and Richards were guests on Marc Maron's podcast to talk about the rerelease of Sticky Fingers and the 15 city Zip code tour in the U.S... I can't wait to see 'em again... They never let me down.

Goodbye Cynthia Lennon篠in Peace and Love羚nt>

Cracked Rib signing off

April 2015

The Hollywood Vampires? Will this be a good thing? Let's hope so. I mean, perhaps this is Johnny Depp's second (third?) act. Box office is not being very kind to him right now and he is loved like a rock star. Since some of the old Vampires will be popping in occasionally, I am keeping my fingers crossed for Micky Dolenz.

Conan has found out that France is ripping off the "Boom" sketch from his own Bill Tull. He needs to just look at America though. I keep seeing commercials that are using the same "Boom". I realize that Tull did not invent this but he is the one who put it out there recently. Then again there is a lot of comedy rip off. Howard Stern questioned homeless people then Leno questioned people in the street and now Kimmel tries to show how stupid people can be. Letterman would send someone out with a bug in their ear and tell them what to do or say then Howie Mandell did it and now Ellen is on board. Of course they have all heard of Candid Camera and the like. There have been variations since tv started.

I can't get enough of "The Americans". If you haven't seen it, turn to FX and start watching. And more Richard Thomas please!!! Emmy consideration??

And speaking of Emmys, will be glad to see Andy Samberg hosting on Sept. 20...Please let him be himself, don't try to change him!

"Who do you think you are?" is back on Sundays on TLC. There is not really a list of people this season that I am eagerly awaiting but it it a great show all the same.

Every time an Adam Sandler movie comes out, I still hold out hope that it will good. Pixels could finally be that movie with a little of the old wonder and magic. More often than not anymore Sandler movies are like the Love Boat of modern comedy movies.

Thank you Kevin Smith and AMC for "Comic book men". I wish they would replay it more often in place a few "The Walking Dead" episodes. I mean midnight on Sundays is easy to forget.

While going through the channels, I noticed "The View" discussing the Robin Thicke/Marvin Gaye judgement and sounding kind of hateful about it and often all talking at once. I flip to Kathie Lee and Hoda and they are playing a clip from each and letting the listeners decide...I think it is just a perfect example of how different the shows are.

DJ Chris Holmes is right to think of ways to keep people from the use of camera phones at concerts. I mean that is so annoying㧭on be in the moment people. But I am not sure clothes are the answer bit it is a start.

Kathy Griffin is out on "Fashion Police"? Ok, I'm out, might as well just cancel it.

Who will replace Jon Stewart? This is a very important decision and it really does not seem any of his reporters/sidekicks are right for it. I am still thinking of who I think would be right but have had a few thoughts. Brian Williams may never be let back into the network game and he has a good sense of humor. A woman would be great, how about Jane Curtin??

Cracked Rib signing off

March 2015

If you haven't seen them yet, check out Schitt's Creek on Pop and The Jack and Triumph show on CN Adult Swim

It has been a year since we lost David Brenner and L'wren Scott, ten years since we lost Teresa Wright. They are so missed.

Peter Capaldi is a great Dr. Who but I think I enjoyed him more on The Musketeers.

CBS was great to have this revolving Late Late show and should keep it up in a Late Late Late show format. What better way to find out who has the knack? And speaking of that, I am looking forward to Jim Gaffigan on TV Land but this guy needs a talk show.

Years and years of watching the View from the beginning, even the Sherry years and I believe the love affair is over. Two solid weeks of boring guest hosts who never leave and confusion over the word 'chic' and I think I am done. A show starring Joy Behar and Rosie O sounds good. We would watch that right?

The Micky Dolenz and Peter Tork version of the Monkees are out and about. Speaking of that, when are we gonna induct them into the Rock and Roll hall of fame? J. Geils is due too误ray for Bill Withers in there though㯠deserving.

Why hasn't anyone given a show to Gary Busey, Harland Williams and Crispin Glover...It would be great, would they do one together?

Dorian Harewood is one of the most talented and handsome actors in Hollywood. I want to see him on more stuff.

What is this air masturbation thing that Larry Wilmore is doing??

We should all thank Conan for hauling his ass to Cuba. How great to see a late night show that was educational AND funny. Leave it to Conan for jumping out in front of everybody else. He is best at location, location, location Viva Cuba!!. Please, Academy... Emmy consideration! And while you are at it... Don't forget Finn Whitrock in American Horror Story and Bob Odenkirk and Michael Mckean in Better Call Saul.

1932 was a very good year for it gave us Tom Robbins, possibly America's greatest writer. His newest, 'Tibetan Peach Pie' is the best non autobiography I ever read. The Mad Magician has better stories than I could have ever imagined.

Cracked Rib signing off

The Turns
By Rib

I am mortal man, take me as I am
Boasts, faults. Living life grand.
Educated without mirrors,
Be it special, be it bland.
Courageous careers, empty fears,
always hopeful but never sincere,
age looks to youth
youth wonders why we're here.
Poverty increases daily
Healthy, beautiful, plain or homely
No tricks left to try
Intellect turns sad and lonely.

More Sad
By Rib

The cold sets in, a flame is gone
A flood of tears after the fall
Lover, brother, Father, son
Empty sadness shared by all.

Dreams and smiles all but gone
No answers for the pain
No time for release
Others plotting for their gain.

Romantic nights not to be
Memories in a lonely heart
Forever came so suddenly
The end is just another start.

My 12 Days
By Rib

Old friends, holidays
Family hatred all around
Tables full, hearts empty
the wonder of it all.

Animation, walking sticks
Street numbers from afar
Join the bright parade
Think of things to say.

Big mouths, shame gained
Take it all away
Twelve days then back to normal
Just spread my legs and pay.

Figure drawings, poison pens
Fun for all the men
Patient circumstances
Think of us now and then.

By Rib

Forward schtoink wings
Fruits of labor
Fruit in my bed
Lapses in total emotion
A step away...    to Hell
奬 it

By Rib

In a mood of bitter envy
A searching of the soul
I found myself retreating
To a land of bitter tones

Frightened from the fallout
Running to the shore
Grasping fast to reality
As I never could before

Turning pain to hatred,
Lies to understanding
To pull out intelligence
From a mind well fed.

The Day
By Rib

Was it U?
The butterfly made his presence known,
Fluttering around my hands, my face,
As I drive from the original home to the one we made our own.
Was it U?
My thoughts were filled with u Boo Boo,
How did I make it thru the day as u peacefully exited?
Did u really dream until the final hug?
Was it U?
U were so thoughtful in your demise.

Escapades in the Clouds
By Rib

Finalize plans for the future along the bogus journey
An open heart,
Terminal and bright
Escapades in the clouds, fuzzy, improper,
A swarm of love in the cool island breeze.
Fact filled tree trunks, ships of sand, rippling flags.
Be Sharp!

Going All The Way
By Rib

Need a little hug?
Sisters in love gliding though teenage emotions.
Restless momentum lighting the way,
Torn into pieces at the top of a hat.
Mornings come late, nights last forever
Learning to deal with satin and lace.
Fresh from the hicks, the losers, et al.
Searching for stardom, finding Metaluna.

Shine On, You Face
By Rib

Shine on, you face
moving out by Friday
falling over cat toys
the policeman to be's wife and her affair
Tony and David are back
Grandma's worried but not surprised
Don't open that, burn the papers
Lock up the toolbox
Bark... bark... bark
Insane jibber jabber
This is just like the town in Footloose
But Ned Kelly is on tonight
Thirst, so dry, thirst
No rain, ever, ever.

The Gleem
By Rib

Join in the party, enjoy the gleem
Dance with the big boys, bop with the top
Camp on the doorstep of Martin Sheen
Jam with the players, join in the dream.

Went cruising around the corner
Flew through the sky
Hiked in the mountains
Sailed through the sea
They are always sayin'

Moved to the woods
Hopped on a train
Rode in the derby
Traveled back in time
But they are still around yellin'.

Escape Proof
By Rib

He lived with all the pain,
All the madness, all the toys.
Did anything just to
Get along with the other boys
Took on many faces,
Flying into rages,
Keeps searching for the keys
To escape proof cages.

What Did He Say?
By Rib

Where there's smoke, there's fire,
Can't get high singing in the choir.

Midnight Menu
By Rib

Can we admit the sky is falling?
Do we stare in wonder?
Only she can hear him calling
From the light so far away.
Chooses her lover from midnight menus,
A burning hunger stays inside.

Finally the sunshine fades,
Over the bleary miles.
Tears overcome the pain,
While she shines with innocent eyes.

I see him in her and her in him
They're wasted so elegantly.
There's occasionally trouble when
The crowd becomes so bourgeois and gay.
Powers from beyond bring 'em here...
To my head, where they'll stay.

A Day at the Asylum
By Rib

Tense and unfortified, I hear myself moan,
Visions of terror setting the tone.
Sheltered in darkness, shunning the light,
Nowhere to turn to make it alright.
Public endorsements, big as a kingdom,
Babies get stolen for no reason, at random.
Leashes on children make rabid young gangs
That haunt our nation with glistening fangs.
Surrounded by people and completely alone,
Witnessed a murder, stayed silent at home.

By Rib

Order in the line of time, dubbed a fortress, lack of mind
Horrorland, a main attraction, breathe it in, fuck it up
Joined by an open prairie, flutters of laughter big and scary
The wit, the grace of the open sea, minefields, war and sleep.
Life of glitches, pilot west and common lynchings,
Appropriate fornication, the kind with no libel action
Come closer, lend an ear, make it pure, crystal clear.
Morose triumphs
Gender bent virgins
In the city of spirit and fight.

M.E.C. The Dreams
By Rib

Your pain rushed through me one night in a dream,
Your eyes made me cry, your heart made me scream.
Where did you go, where could you be?
Are you calling to me?
Should I try again?
I saw your face so clearly,
So pretty, so clean,
How does it look now? Old, indifferent, scared or serene?
How did you know?
Did you finally let go?
Are you calling to me?
Should I try again?

By Rib

It was a way to fill the time
Down the opossum hole
And into the fine mist
All the pressures of time and lust melt away.
October gone, owls on high
Open up my lists and move
Now onto other questions
The mood rides high

Neds and Teds and even Jeds
By Rib

Stacks of blue, shades of red
All the jamming spiders
Went straight to his head.

Got 'em rolling in the aisles
From the gruesome things he said
The world pushed back,
Laughed and laughed until Todd was dead.

Crackheads cryin' in their beds
Overwhelmed, underfed
Lookin' for satan, found the Lord
Must be time to call in the Feds.

It's All About Me
By Rib

My reign as King of the Mongla must be over
Rich and deserving as I was
The fall was an awakening
A strength in numbers
A truth full of darkness.
With heavy moments of doubt,
The confinement in my head
I know the days are short
The years have no meaning
I ask for immunity
The population shakes its head.

By Rib

A long farewell on the day of wine and roses
Goodbye, I silently spoke
Goodbye, as they all drove away.
But all I could think was the happiness,
Oh, the joy she felt getting us all inside.
There was no gathering with the others,
On the outside looking out
So many changes were in store
The anchor was gone
The sinking feeling of permanent separation.

By Rib

Beyond remorse, without sobriety
A burden on the edge not fit to share.

The remains were once sacred
Not there on the stage as if on a dare.

A weakness for the flesh
Living or dead.

So cold, so numbing
The precision, the calculation
The heartless stares.

Shadow Cold
By Rib

Shadow cold, lost -
A quiet fatigue has its grip
A lovely unsettling flavor
Helpless and foreign with a twist.

How many times have you dined alone?
How many old movies did you watch at home?
Finding footprints in the snow
Facing the other way, should have known.

Face Forward
By Rib

Marvelous extract from the town crier,
A sudden burst of arrogance lifts me higher
Portraits of heroines out in the hall
Hanging on invisible walls.
A rush in the stratosphere
As the President sheds a tear
Fighting off the poison of a formal education,
Sweating and squirming when they recite Revelations.

Flush This Face
By Rib

I took a train to another track
It made me feel kind of funny,
But it's high time I changed my act
And flush this face I portray,
Who can love me this way?

I'll just keep on fighting
Run wild and free.

110 years ago we were doing that
Now we're walking on the moon.
Should I progress or just lie back?
I'm diagnosed extremely paranoid,
We finally need a man like Freud.

I watched the rain fall and deteriorate
T'was near a little town in Paris.
Hope that train comes this way again,
Now we all depart way of airplane,
Whirling times drive me insane.

Ecstatic These Days
By Rib

I keep opening doors
Coming out of the cold
It's warmer every time.

The sun shines unceasingly
Flowers grow everywhere
With my simple happy touch.

Animals are running to me
Children standing beside me
I'm fortunate to feel so free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Love of Fall
By Rib

It's cool at night
The warm slowly fading
A few days of heat left and Autumn begins.
Oh, the quest for the colors
Breathing in orange and black
A hopeless resignation to happiness
I begin to think of the special days
I begin to settle into my favorite ways.
Pumpkins, footballs and harvest secrets,
Joy shivers, claim the hanging moon.

Done Today
By Rib

He finds the lies in your eyes
And it doesn't matter if you cry
I see restraint close by
They see the question, oh why?

Don't stop, tables turning again
I tip my hat
All I see is the sin
But here I sat

Tearin' it all apart
Ripping at my heart
Give it all away, get it done today
Throw in your say before they holler

Those guys really crack me up
They think they speak of love
But to drink from the cup
Hands them nothing from above

Don't start, no faces again
Loosen my belt
Only know where I've been
And the hand I'm dealt.

Hearts of Pink
By Rib

I need to feel your heat
I need your soul on fire
I want your tongue hanging out
A low moan inside
And once we get the beat
Hang on for one hell of ride.

Blowing smoke
Respectin' lies
Running in and out of smiles and wondering why
All in white
Hearts of pink
Sailin' thru the bitter end, wasted styles

I feel your glove
I feel you, sire
Got my tongue hanging out
Groaning like wild
And once we get the love
Roll over to the other side.

The Ground and Melt Away
By Rib

How can you tell if it stays quiet when you're fast asleep?
Wonders of the mind
Calm and cool, jumbled and psychotic
The way we feel, the things we think
Dreams of yesterday, memories of tomorrow,
Nerves like jello, abs of steel
Laughing at questions too painfully real.

Strawberry Clown
By Rib

No more
Jif shift
He looked like he was never a woman

And he barks

Just like a jacket or Ernie in the van
His teeth showed, ready for fight
Out delivering with the sausage bread boy.

Mush 3D
By Rib

NO time
Let time live for others
No time for we
Sugars and lighters
Men and flying pigs
A few of the sights see we
0:00 A. M.
Dancing, dancing, turquoise headbands
Dead bag, yellow skirt, wagons
Vaginas in the air, so sweet
A hotter Sunday
Left ball, right ball
9 foot tall
She's too young to know the dead
Another generation here and gone.

Of Another
By Rib

A small town grieves of non-fiction
All the parents complain
While young ones just sustain
There's fright aplenty, if you dare
But no one digs up suspicious relics
For time has frozen there

In the big town, friction spreads
I smell plays of another era
When age seems never to matter
They hand out boas n the street
Crash the filthy conventions
Sex steaming from high atop buildings.

The Other Me
By Rib

Younger dreaming days with children screaming
A honky tonk place with every room the same
There's true romance and Tupperware, cheap flower pots, the cupboards bare.

Sleeping and drinking with all those faces
Winding up licking a few foreign traces
Keeing and eye on what I'll never have
All the time praying that I won't look back

The man I have ain't me no more
The man I want, wants me no more
I try to be real but I'm always foggy
The haze is thick and I cannot see
An emotional phone call and the urge to leave
Next morning I wake up still being me.

Sage of Empty House on the Highway
By Rib

We were young classmates in a tiny school in a small town
We wondered why
She needed out of there worse than we did
Was it a story?
No more did we see her
Not night   not day
But 35 years
Give or take
She walks in
Knows my name
She seems to be her
Illusion?  Mystery?
She had only moved
Local urban legend
Fiction can change your life
Especially if it produces death.

Why Yes
By Rib

Lost in a fog
me and them
I've said it before
we could sink or swim

Passing by
in the same kind of pace
no one here can win the race

By Rib

Here we go, we're on our way
far beyond the world,
where dreams collide with reality
far beyond the world.

Pull up the stakes,
throw out the brakes
and just plain let go.
Use up the love,
look up above
and really be the show.

Here they come, they're on their way
far beyond the world
where dreams collide with reality
far beyond the world
the only time I see
now free that I can be
well...I'm gone, gone, always gone
very, very, very gone.

At Odds
By Rib

A world of love
killer, killer
compassion with lust
run, run
smooth over all the lush electricity
and find the inner heart.

Make some time for the poorer, the weaker
and add strength to mankind
show the blind masses ow to smile, how to bleed, how to blush.

Shake, strangle, lie
a place to thrive
clever, clever
a way to die



A Rush

In the Muck
By Rib

Working on the corner of 6th and Hell
end of a long day gone
started with hopes as big as the ocean
now I'm back near the alley
mingling with the freaks again.

The flattery of drunks
the stench and the whine
just toss me in the muck
on the back of a truck
like pieces of broken shell
trolling for the common fuck
c'mon baby, ring my bell羚nt>

1 Year Gone
By Rib

1 year gone from my arms, from my eyes
lodged in the heart, nothing gets in

1 year gone, bumping tripping, cloudy head
not caused by drugs or drink or the fuck of the dead
always knowing that time carries on
time for me alone, time for work, time for no blow

1 year gone rattle, rattle, playin' dumb
smiles for friends and family fun
a dull ache that never ends
for me alone to know, numb.

1 year gone from my touch, from my lies
still in brain, disengaged
baby u r 1 year gone
a count that will never end

By Rib

Lost in beams
further to Ceylon
stars in jars
hopeless ways and finite despair
when this novel reaches masses
after trash and longing
Lorna bites in
mini valley
white trails
provided by volunteers
many moonlit crosses
ordinary red days
on my honor
and over the blank.

The End of May Day
By Rib

And there it was, the brightest light
the vibe with the most, the resounding chorus
but the king is gone,
the greatest of all time is calling it quits,
he'll go fishing with Harry and the loner with the vacuum cleaner,
fumbled again.
and so it bounces over the bumps in the road
and the light recedes a bit.
Give me the promise of a new born babe and
the shaking of ass with fireworks,
things glow blue but his Daddy gets Cancer.
The bitch comes back home with a vengeance and
so it bounces...
Black and orange and all in fun,
over in the wonderland after the gun.
How often do you fade to gray?
Often enough to warrant a look,
turn to the evergreen and try to cry
and wonder why he always lies.

My Lil' Bombshell
By Rib

Fan dancer
entranced, relaxed
orbit of men, blatant sin
a fan of oral communication.

The rage of a mid-century play
so hot, they scream her name
oh, but she could shake it
followers would lose their way,
cock enhancer
pandemonium, petrified , egos imbibed,
ballyhoo, renew
an enemy, a fugitive with a firm fan base.

Old Screen Door
By Rib

Before I knew it, there was my bountiful,
Overgrown with weeds where once there'd been love
the garage all gone, just piles of stuff.
I saw the window to my baby's first room
I remember how I'd scrubbed it so it would seem new.
The notice on the front porch told me no one lived there
I saw in my mind, the parties, the scenes
the adorable house of the old couple, once our neighbors
now looked as if vandals had made it their haven.
but it wasn't until I heard the flapping of the old screen door that it hit me,
I stared at the back door that I'd touched every day for all those years
then I drove away slowly, alone and in tears.

Brilliant Love
By Rib

Wasting the day
walking the floor
me and my baby
we're always wanting more.

There's so much to see
so much to do
surrounded by nothing
no fabulous hues.

So filled with feelings
that's all that matters
even with turbulence
mad as hatters.

A brilliant love
from beginning to end
it's cuddly, it's feisty
the perfect blend.

Floating with Time Bombs
By Rib

Floating with Time Bombs
There's ways to throw you down,
nothing means more to me
but when you wander through
familiar assortments of performances
then I know you've tried it all before.

On the river
floating with time bombs
ticking away
floating with time bombs
drift on⬯w on䲥am on

And when the time is near
just let me know to think
for now we'll lose our only friends
the way we never thought it'd end
shoved behind old scarves in a drawer.

A Cool Breeze and VIP's
By Rib

Go blue with strings and a howdy do
toaster head monsters rock the earth
trio 5, gypsy moonshine u warm me,
good love, good smiles, real smiles

Are u game?  Are u alone?
Stay and enjoy, share the time we can,
pray that the humans are layin' it bare,
good love, good smiles, real smiles.

Ladybug umbrellas, carts of steel
care bear on a stick
it's a guitar odyssey, a balance of harmonies,
Pee Wee is here again⵴羚nt>
where oh where is Weeb?
good love, good smiles, real smiles

By Rib

Hunt down Indians in the name of the Lord,
fight for our freedom, sober and small
bash in hatred for the love of God
garner attention, watch them crawl

Occupational sex, strictly illegal
rape in the forecast, keeping it evil
utter the words, testing, testing
doesn't anybody still believe in the sixties?

Money, money in their eyes,
a flair for choices, live and die
hands quicker than Penn or Teller
spotlight sin, watch them try.

The Regular Price
By Rib

Stray cats sold at the regular price
Lovejoy slaughterhouse and the roots of evil
tall men, little wives, always funny
same pose opposite way.
All the power of the world in silver satin pants
unicorns, pot, roses and cherries
painted on your backs.
A nervous wreck driving and grinning
mouths hanging open
pointing, laughing, leaning on his face.
An old guy looks back, finds truths
believes revelations.
Denies family, friends and himself
using lust to further the game.
Blue pages, fortune telling
the academy of fools.

By Rib

She don't belong in the place she's at
sitting back with her old man at bat
never once tried to get away
now she's dreaming of that one good lay.

But will she ever come down,
be jumping all over town?
Yea, I know the girl can do it
cuz, she really can rock n' roll.

She used to be in such good company
now I wonder if she'll ever be free
brings out the best when she plays that bass
and there he is, again, all over her case.

Warm Morning
By Rib

And the magic shone thru
they were young and in love
stars raggedy and future hot
all on their way to the great above
fitting together like a well-worn glove

Bursts of billionaires
shots of beauty and bone.

Thoughts of Her
By Rib

People everywhere look like Kim
laughing deer, oh let's make a deal
that little one freshly baked and looking straight at us
she always said it, "I'm just one of those people"
I'm not sure that's really true.

But that defiant one with
the look of strength and love
oh yes, there's generations of your shades
of your glimmer
but your arrival in Mae shows
it's not so true that people everywhere
really look like Kim

Pink Umbrella
first printed in April issue of 50 Plus News and Views
By Rib

I had a pink umbrella that kept me nice and dry,
I took it to the park one day when clouds were in the sky,
the sun came out and the pink umbrella was forgotten by a tree,
and now the squirrels have a little pink tent where they can have their tea.

Clover Heels
By Rib
There were days when I ran too soon
times when I saw you and wondered why
places you couldn't take me that I needed to go
and virginal moments to conquer that I was too worldly for.

Did you ever catch that moon?
Can you give me a moment, even though you mean nothing to me?

There were ways you caressed me before noon
the memories of heartbreak were worth it, you see
the blandness you brought to my life filled me
the ways of Gods and magicians rip the atmosphere fresh and new

mate, in a singular world
high on a hill in the bogus town, anyone there to run
13:51 in clover heels
defeat rising
ascension complete

Kerry Doesn't Know
By Rib
She once was our hottest bombshell
the world needed her
poor Ralph is trying but going through Hell
from reruns on tv

that poor old Bud is going insane
bugs crawling on him
there was quickly a stroll down memory lane
suddenly he caught me

fill me full of fantasy
make me need you more
by the time I find you babe, will you still be there?

I see you in the daytime
I think of you at night
you know one day I'll be there
I beg you wait for me.

Frozen Teeth
By Rib
When I think of you, it makes me want to die,
I suppose you wonder why I always cry,
I could feel you holding me long into the night
those strong arms around me, feeling oh so tight
since I can't have you my world is in despair,
my only comfort is maybe you really care.

bordering on suicide, needing you is all I've got
making love by a quiet tide, let the feeling be our guide.

The deeper down I feel, the more I see in you
but alas, all is forgotten
cuz to her you are so true
I pray that soon one understands
and steps into my forbidden land
until that day I'll sit and wait
wondering Lord, will it be too late?

White Horse
By Rib
There's a man with drawings on his face
dancing with trash can girls
why would he keep up this pace?
He's hiding from another and no one gets burned
and speaking of his Mother while the courtroom adjourns.

White horse, dyeing in the cellar,
white horse, gets another fella,
white horse, frowning at me.

The shame of guilt is too much too bear,
when they laugh so casually
the sun burned stripes in his blazing hair.
that fell fast flowing, across uneven tracks
and what is he doing while the courtroom adjourn?.

For now I sit here playing with the dial
and leave the knight behind,
I'm reminded of a trip across the Nile
a skeleton upstairs moving down the wire
he really gets scared while the courtroom adjourns.

Ramen and Red Velvet
By Rib

Thank you loneliness
I love you and the big raccoon
I see big bright Honey Nut Cheerios
there..there, in the red car
Oh how Mama likes 'em, Mark does too
Things just aren't as firm,as used.

$ going out, peace settles in
fear changes us, brings moderation
straight forward, no nonsense
here, here in the green bar
driving sad, coolsville begins
a mellow happiness descends.

Sit or Squat or Reach For the Sky
By Rib

My flowing heart never forgets
I see you in the far off south
a midnight breeze I send,
there goes my forever friend
silent in the trees for years.
God calls you into the den of sin
of reality, of harmony, and pulls you apart
and then the beauty so close
floats nearby and smiles in pain
away, away,
you and yours grow bigger and bigger
each seed struggling to shine
each flower blooming in the sun
the givers of life slow and steady
alone and full of worry
lost in no memories
the keeper sits alone.

Redneck Clown Car
By Rib

They laugh so jolly but clown rape is no joke
it is good scary but Bozo not so much
Kelly blue or green and the like,
Micheals make me shiver.
Send me off to clown school, put me in the circus,
nobody believes the world loves a clown.
We knew girls who fucked a collector
knew a great spot with a giant clown head
newbies renovated and it was never the same.
Send me off to clown school, put me in the circus.
Sad, happy, fat, thin,
water, confetti, hats and flowers
clown factions, clown tools,
there must be more to the red nose life than this.

5:45 A.M.
By Rib

It's 5:45 in the morning
the snowflakes are falling
I'm shoveling out the walk and warming up the car.

Yea, life keeps going even though I know the rumors
I had a thought yesterday that you would leave this earth
I heard a whisper that your number is up
my life will remain the same.

It's 12:00 somewhere as I pour the first vodka
the sun keeps shinin' on
as we stay in the deep freeze
I smile without you
smile with teeth

Garbage and Coffee
By Rib

mass annihilation,Freud and Jung
so many things to keep us numb
high frequency, locked in the game
nobody realizes the pitiful strain
state of passion, crimes of grace
lost in a monument
final faint

Give Me Freaks
By Rib

Faces for free and the aura of the season,
seeping in everywhere
the sheepskin overflows as we work
we plead
take away the salesman..run..die
shout from the rooftops "pray for peace."

The old mother hen sees the beauty of living,
a non violent silence, a sea of smiles
where can we hide the pain?
we plead
Use forward thinking, sample protruding perversions
keep it simple
give me freaks
it keeps me alive.

All In
By Rib

Did he come at you with bad intention?
No, he brought only love
Are different colors a problem for you?
No, its skin R skin
Did her prayers hurt your pride?
It enriched the soul, strengthened the backbone
Did the youth run rough shod?
A new generation thrives once again
How did she offend U?
With beauty and brains
How old is too old?
Give voice to the wise and the true
Do I look different, do I have limitations?
so do u
Are my pockets bare, anything there?
It could come soon
Peace for all who walk the earth
love for me and u
Helping A Hangover: Holidays? Family? Friends? Hangovers!!

Here are a few tips when dealing with the morning after too much booze...

  • Drink water between drinks. .Stay hydrated! Hangover symptoms are the livers efforts to process the alcohol. The liver operates more efficiently with more liquid.

  • Try herbal tea before going to bed. Something like chamomile has antispasmodic which is soothing to the stomach. Try 2 oz. of pure rosewater before bed, it acts to strengthen and cleanse the liver.

  • Cereal and non- acidic juice is good the next day. Eat Carbs.

  • Apply an ice pack for 20 minutes to your head, take it off for 10 then repeat.

  • Some claim homeopathic remedies or acupuncture work.

  • Think before you start: The hardest hit are premenstrual women. Avoid carbonated mixers. Try to stick to one drink an hour. Keep eating, but avoid rich foods, stick with low fat options. Darker alcohols seem to cause worse hangovers. It helps to avoid bourbon, brandy, red wine, rum and whiskey.

  • Be careful is you have asthma, the preservative sulfite is used in most beer and wine.

By Rib

January 2016

I think we should have recognition all around for the best new show in 2015... Blunt Talk稡t a fabulous show... With lines like "Oh Cokie, all legs, no common sense." and "I know what lurks inside me and I'd rather leave it there." And "Meth or no meth, you gotta floss." And "I'm not sure the lad is ready for Japanese post war cinema." I can't think of much I don't like. Richard Lewis never lets you down. Adrian Scarborough, Patrick Stewart and Ed Begley Jr. play their parts perfectly.