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(Nonfiction book reviews by Rib)

Title: The Clinton Tapes

Author: Taylor Branch

I realize I have never heard a Clinton story start with 'He didn't say a word' or 'He was so cold'. Usually the words 'warm' and 'open' are included. His first days in the White House start much the same according to Taylor Branch. To give fair warning, the author was a good buddy of the Clintons so don't expect Fox news commentary here. This is from someone who understands this family writing for those who want to truly know them better. And the other warning is that Clinton used these tapes for his own book so some of this was out there. Getting impressions from Branch is helpful though.

A big part of this book is its help in understanding the Presidents enemies. His former security detail from his Governor days were offered big jobs in Washington. CNN vowed to get even with the former candidate because they switched the big interview to 60 Minutes when the Gennifer Flowers mess broke. We read about Dole, Gingrich and the republican cronies who were bitching all thru his Mothers funeral.

There was a touching story about Madeline Albright visiting a Prague castle and the Charles Bridge. She is overcome with feelings about fleeing the Nazis as a little girl. There is a priceless antidote about all the x Presidents riffing on Perot. Little tidbits along the way flesh out the personal. Hillary likes frogs. Bill has allergies to pollen and pine. He loves rocking chairs and can fall asleep at the drop pf a hat. We tend to think of Presidents being overworked yet pampered in everyday life. Here we see Clinton digging around to find pillows for guests after the staff has gone home. And he can sometimes admit he is wrong. He should have listened to Hillary about resisting the original Whitewater counsel.

Clintons unfiltered thoughts about history and the people in it are here. He seemed ok with Jeb Bush but at the outset found George W. hostile, cold and miserable. yea, sounds about right. He called former President Carter hypersensitive and supercilious but there were some surprises. At times when insiders and the press talked of his anger at Carter, he seemed to take most of it in stride. Carter went a bit rogue but I think Clinton just waited for the end result which was fine. He is smart enough to see how clever Carter could be.

All the election stuff is must read . Branch states that Cheney picked himself for VP and Bush didn't even test it. There is a great line Clinton says about Bush's people just out talked and out thugged Gores people. Scalia admits he was araid of the votes In the end, Bush pushed his way into office and they felt they could do anything for they had made no real promises. According to this, all that was made about the vandalism and stealing as the Clintons left the White House was pure rubbish planted by Bush's people. Even Bush admitted they got carried away. It started from day one. Well, actually before because party funds were used to take out ads for impeachment.

I like the way Branch put the book together. I only found myself getting taken out of it all when he mentions his Fathers birdhouses. I'd be proud too but I found it of no interest. If it were me, I'd probably put my parallel story in as well. Hell, I do it in some of my reviews so I guess I can't squawk. But most of it felt intimate, just two intelligent guys going back and forth. Then when the wife and kids enter the picture, it reads like they are all tennis in the early 60's and the Beatles are coming. I suppose that is real though. I mean Clinton seems to be looked at like a rock star.

Title: Under the Dome

Author: Stephen King

Drum roll... I read a fiction book ! It does happen once in a while. There is just so much good non fiction out there, I can't stop myself. But, I have always read

Stephen King. In my mind, it would be hard for him to ever top 'Carrie' or 'It'. And there could never be a better film of his books than 'Dolores Claiborne'. I guess

everyone has a fave. But I am getting off track. ....He is passé to some and he sometimes tends to write like my Grandma talked (very wordy). Yet he also has pure fans that will be with him no matter what and that really counts.

Now I wanna tell ya about Under the Dome. If you're a big fan you have read it long ago but...here goes...I was a bit intrigued by the cast list and maps in the front ...nice touch. As in most Stephen King novels, there is the visual of a movie already in place. The idea of people cut off from the world with a villain and hero ready to go seems perfect from page one. The old stand bys of Maine and the gross little local sayings are here. I know they are supposed to sound familiar but they often just seem over the top. Well, ok, honestly I have never been to Maine, so everybody could say those things.

It is especially interesting to me that each person is so individual. Often in horror or disaster, it comes down to a town, a group that has to press on after adversity. Each person has their particular skill. Every town in the world would have this. All villages have someone who knows all the secrets, another may be good at technology or plumbing and there is always a leader to keep it all organized. I wonder about my own town. I am amused when a character in one of his books mentions another of his books or films. It is like Hitch or the Stones, when you have created that much material, it comes back around and seems natural to reference yourself.

King always tackles the subject of division. He writes the classic scenario of good vs. evil like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and now Avatar. It is usually bad guy authority and the sheep that follow vs. the good guy loners and losers who find each other and rise up. The world really needs more of the latter without a big crisis to bring it together. He often uses the bible (the ultimate good and evil) to show how different it can be even between its own pages. The section from the dogs view was great. Being a corgi lover, I understand that they seem so capable of that grin. The book is ripe with Bush era comparisons, no hiding it.

I could not help but think of some other art here. Of course, The Simpson's movie is the obvious comparison. But I also thought of the "It Happened on Maple St.' Twilight Zone and that one where the toys in the box are trying to get out.. I thought of Woodstock and Altamont in the scene where all the people are walking to meet up with the outside world. I see this as more of an action movie than his usually are. There is a bit more nail biting than some of his others. The ending is better than most too. My other reading friends and I often bitch about King endings. The best of all though had to be the perfect Zevon references. I was almost hoping that he wouldn't mention where the lines come from so the uninformed would have to figure it out. So just for quoting one of my favorite songs alone, I think I would put this book near the top pf my Stephen King list.

And wouldn't it be great to see a new Stephen King movie filled with many actors from past King films?

Here are my casting suggestions:

Ginny...Bryce Dallas Howard
Dougie...Kieran Culkin
Romeo Burpee...Tony Shalhoub
Lissa ...Drew Barrymore
Andy Sanders...Keith Gordon
Jim Rennie...Jack Nicholson
Dale Barbara...Jason Bateman
Duke and Brenda Perkins...Burt Reynolds and Sissy Spacek
Peter Randolph...Kelsey Grammer
Linda Everett...Kate Hudson
Lester Coggins...Micky Dolenz
Piper Libby...Kirstie Alley
Julia Shumway...Jennifer Jason Leigh
Rusty Everett...Johnny Depp

Title: I Am Not a Psychic: A Novel

Author: Richard Belzer

I was interested in this book right away because… well... it is The Belz, ya know. yummy!! But it can be disconcerting when real people are doing or at least writing about doing fake things. Call me a dunderhead, but when someone writes about themselves...that fine line hazes over. Was this something that happened that is fictionalized or totally made up?? Obviously some traits of his Homicide, Law and Order et al. character are there but that is fake and this is about The Belz who is real. It is kind of like historical fiction but now. Was there real exchanges between two specific real people or is all of this from whole cloth?? Ya see I like the facts, just the facts. I mean real?? not real?? PICK ONE!! . And I lighten up whenever I see his face on the cover. PRRRRRRR. And I do love a mystery so... I dive in... So I didn't find it terribly brilliant but I keep reading.

There is much mention of fecal matter. I wonder if this has anything to do with the Aristocrats. I wonder if the author is familiar with David Brenners book about terrorists in his soup and his many mentions of the shit sandwich. I kept thinking about it. In the dialogue, he sure sounds like Munch with a little Dennis Miller thrown in. I did Laugh when a guard thought he was James Woods. How did I never put that together? He probably gets that a lot. And he seems to wonder why people can't distinguish between he and the character he plays. He must meet some stupid people but if he didn't write books to confuse the issue, it might help. Actors often claim this happens and I thought it ridic. but I know some people can't seem to make the distinction between characters and the actor. I kept going to see how it ends. There were no big twists. If not for imagining Belzer in the story, I wouldn't have made it. I did learn one thing. Please do not call him Rich.

Rib says: Read Them All

Click Here to read past reviews by Rib

This month's review is going to be divided into two sections. Why, you may ask? The answer is very simple: Ditch and I are having problems finishing the book. Now, don't let this taint your view of the review… it's just that "life" has taken a large chunk out of our days and that makes reading this classic novel slightly more daunting. For Ditch, she has started her second semester of college and that is really eating up her time (becoming brain dead and then picking up a book written basically in old English, with lots of strange outdated words); and I have been in the process of moving from New York up to Vermont… and, to be honest, while this move has taken up much of my time driving back and forth from NY to VT and doing everything one must do to make such a big move, I have also been trying to read a massive novel that I am enjoying very much but can't find time (again, brain dead for both of us) to read either novel. So, since both of us are almost done with Great Expectations - and have lots of things to say since the end of our last email - we decided to break this one up into two sections. Thanks for your understanding… and we will definitely rethink reading such a classic again for Between the Sheets LOL

Weeb

The review begins...

Weeb: Before I forget… reading a great book called The Passage by Justin Cronin http://www.amazon.com/Passage-Justin-Cronin/dp/0345504968/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276948653&sr=8-1 can't put it down… though I have to force myself to so I can read Great Expectations. Haven't read a book this good in a long time… and it's big!!!!

Ditch: I will check out The Passage even tho I have a million books here to read. I'm really struggling with GExpect. Not that its not good I just have to really concentrate and by the time I lay down to read my brain is dead. About 100 pages in.

Editor Note: (when trying to decide at what point in the book to start the emails, we discover that we are reading different editions…)

Weeb: As for Great Expectations… I thought you had to read this for school or something LOL I am in the same boat as you. this is like my 5th attempt to read a Dickens novel and I just feel so… dumb, at times. I have read other books written during this time period and even earlier, but there is something about Dickens that I just can't grasp. It's not the story that bogs me down but the writing… maybe we are too MTV and short attention span theater??? As for breakdowns… my part one end on chapter 19 and part two on 39… lets make sure yours has 59 chapters. I am on chapter 9 right now but making myself read more each day to try and get through this.

Ditch: I'm on chapter 8 so we are close. i do have 59 chapters so that works out. I was actually getting into it last night. What bothers me is the old timey words. But I need to quit being a sissy. That's all I will say so I can save it for bts. It's awesome we have had so many hits.

Weeb: I agree with Great Expectations that you said… had a hard time to start but once I got in the swing of the language and Dickens moved outside Pip's house I found the story and word flow more entertaining. Did you happen to notice when Pip wrote his uncle that he wrote in text speak. I actually burst out laughing at that. Dickens WAS totally a head of his time. Few other places that actually made me laugh too… won't get into it and save it for BTS (but you know, we actually already started LOL).

Ditch: I did notice that and laughed also. weird!! Raw is so awesome!! got to spend some time and post some stuff on the wall.

Weeb: So we reached the end of section 1… now the "real" review begins.

How am I feeling about this classic book? Not very good - to be honest. It has taken me a while to get in the Dickens groove. At first I was having a very hard time understanding what was going on… not because of the story but because of the writing. Lots of old English, lots of outdated words and ideas and, my most dreaded writing technique, writing speech the way it sounds (even though the words may be spelled wrong). As I got used to the writing technique I slowly began to enjoy the story. Again, honestly, I am not finding the actual story that thrilling. Could it be that I have ruined the story itself by having seen the movie/s before reading the book, since I know what some of the major plot twists are going to be??

Ditch: Yeah I had a real hard time getting into it because of the same things. Writing the words they way they sound is irritating to me. But I realized that is because I am a lazy reader I guess. Hate to admit that but it is true. I always seem to complain when I have to think too hard. Now I am more irritated with myself. I love coming of age stories and am really loving the story now even tho I find my mind drifting and having to go back and reread. But that is me not the writing but because my mind is overwhelmed right now. I haven't seen the movie and I'm glad I haven't. That almost always ruins a book for me. Just like a movie is hardly ever good after reading the book first. Example...The Time Travelers Wife. But I guess that movie would suck whether I read the book or not. It's one of my favorite books tho. Anyway back to Dickens. I love Pip. I feel so sorry for him and reading about his life with his sister broke my heart. I was kinda glad when she got hurt. Evil bitch!! How can you be so mean to a kid?? Children treated unjustly is a sore spot for me. As with most people I guess. Joe...I love Joe. What a nice man. I know he is missing Pip so much. I hate that Pip left him but he had to. I had my big moment when I realized what "Great Expectations" meant. That's how dumb I am I didn't even realize what it meant to the story. I really need to get up to date on the classics because I am totally lost. It makes me ashamed that I don't know them better when I am such a big reader. Anyway I am eager to see what happens with Pip next!!

Weeb: Loved your BTS and going to continue in just a sec… I have read many novels written during this time period (Wilkie Collins for one - who I absolutely LOVE… and he was a good friend but rival of Dickens) and had very little trouble reading them. There is something about Dickens that just doesn't pull me in. This is like the 5th book I have tried to read by him and, because of our review, will be the first one I am actually going to finish. When he's writing about what is happening in the present I really like it, but when he starts giving back information (which, granted, for his twists and turns to the story, is essential) is when I start drifting off like you. I get bogged down by all the words. I know that sounds silly but he like to hear (or is that read??) himself talk at times.

I know people will give me crap about this review because Dickens fans are die-hard and will never let me forget my stupidity. Kevin constantly tells me how good this book is and how can I talk so negative about it… makes me wonder what's wrong with me.

Ditch: Yeah. It's like I feel ashamed because I am not loving it. But, fuck people who don't let other people have their own opinion. I don't judge people who don't like what I like. But....I do like it a lot just not loving it. He is def a great writer and I will read more of him when I have the time. Part of my problem is that I read this book called "A Girl in a Blue Dress" by Gaynor Arnold (I loved it) and it is a novel inspired by the life of Dickens. As I'm reading Gr. Ex. may mind gets bogged down by what I read about his life and I start confusing the two.

I have this horrible feeling about whats going to happen to Pip. I don't want him to get hurt, but there is some evil plan happening here I do believe, but hope I'm wrong. He's so innocent and naive.

Weeb: innocent and naïve!!!!???? We must be reading a totally different book LOL I find Pip to be very self-centered and me me me. Yes, he wants to succeed in life and fulfill some great expectations but he seems to be walking over the people that actually care about him (Joe and Biddy, for example). The one thing that I do like about Dickens is that he wasn't afraid to torture his characters and create some very interesting people that most would never dream of (Miss Havisham - now I would love to read an entire book about her… yes, we get plenty of back story on her but she is such a unique character that I was constantly looking forward to when she appeared again). But, honestly, I think another reason for having such a hard time is that I really dislike Pip as a person… maybe he's redeemed some way later but right now I just think he's an asshole. There… I said it and am not sorry LOL

Ditch: It is funny how people can a totally different take on characters. I was disappointed that he didn't see Joe when he was in town. But I see him doing what he has to, to be what he wants to be. I love reading about Miss Havisham also but I believe she is plotting some revenge and she's going to do to Pip what was done to her. She picked the most innocent and naive person she could find so she could break him in two.

Weeb: Guess that's why I LOVE her LOL I can't wait until you destroys him and knocks him off his high horse LOL

Have to get back to reading it. I am only like a couple of chapters past our review point and still trying to finish The Passage too (I feel like you lately in the sense of reading - I used to be able to read at the drop of a hat but with the move to Vermont and all the other changes going on these last few weeks it has gotten very hard to read… and I love one book and dread the other)

Lets continue after the end of Part 2… don't remember the chapter that falls on but will continue then. I feel like shit now that I have ripped apart a master of the written word LOL

Ditch: I know. it makes me feel like a lazy reader and I guess I am. I don't want to have to work that hard at reading. There are times I can really get into classics like that and other times I can't. It's all about where I am in my head.

Weeb: BTS quick follow-up:

Ok, I just read like 50 pages and would like to point out that I hate Pip more than ever - the smug little fucker! How dare he be embarrassed by Joe (and, thank God Biddy sees it and point it out in such a passive way in the letter to him). If you haven't gotten to any of this than forget it for now LOL but I just had to get it out while it was fresh in my mind. I even started bitching about him to Kevin who kept telling me to calm down and just read the book…

And, another thing, I do believe Mr. Jaggers is gay… now I know that's quite a statement but the whole chapter with Pip and his friends at dinner and Mr. Jaggers suddenly all into Drummle just made me go - huuummmmm, looks like Mr. Wash My Hands With Perfumed Soap All the Time has a little crush. Maybe I am wrong and something is going to come of this incident (and I don't mean Drummle and Mr. Jaggers living happily ever after either) later on but… the sexual tension did seem a little out of sort LOL

I'm just saying…

Editor: Here ends Part 1 of the review… part 2 will be printed on August 1.

The following book review/comments you are about to read was done over the period of time that Ditch and Weeb read the book. Everything was done through email - so that may explain some parts of the beauty of the disjointedness of the review.

Book Reviewed: Great Expectations

Author: Charles Dickens

Can be purchased from Amazon by CLICKING HERE

Synopsis: Dickens considered Great Expectations one of his "little pieces," and indeed, it is slim compared to such weighty novels as David Copperfield or Nicholas Nickleby. But what this cautionary tale of a young man raised high above his station by a mysterious benefactor lacks in length, it more than makes up for in its remarkable characters and compelling story. The novel begins with young orphaned Philip Pirrip--Pip--running afoul of an escaped convict in a cemetery. This terrifying personage bullies Pip into stealing food and a file for him, threatening that if he tells a soul "your heart and your liver shall be tore out, roasted and ate." The boy does as he's asked, but the convict is captured anyway, and transported to the penal colonies in Australia. Having started his novel in a cemetery, Dickens then ups the stakes and introduces his hero into the decaying household of Miss Havisham, a wealthy, half-mad woman who was jilted on her wedding day many years before and has never recovered. Pip is brought there to play with Miss Havisham's ward, Estella, a little girl who delights in tormenting Pip about his rough hands and future as a blacksmith's apprentice. I had never thought of being ashamed of my hands before; but I began to consider them a very indifferent pair. Her contempt for me was so strong, that it became infectious, and I caught it. It is an infection that Pip never quite recovers from; as he spends more time with Miss Havisham and the tantalizing Estella, he becomes more and more discontented with his guardian, the kindhearted blacksmith, Joe, and his childhood friend Biddy. When, after several years, Pip becomes the heir of an unknown benefactor, he leaps at the chance to leave his home and friends behind to go to London and become a gentleman. But having expectations, as Pip soon learns, is a two-edged sword, and nothing is as he thought it would be. Like that other "little piece," A Tale of Two Cities, Great Expectations is different from the usual Dickensian fare: the story is dark, almost surreal at times, and you'll find few of the author's patented comic characters and no comic set pieces. And yet this is arguably the most compelling of Dickens's novels for, unlike David Copperfield or Martin Chuzzlewit, the reader can never be sure that things will work out for Pip.

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